So you’ve started a new relationship and things are nice. This person fills you every need and you seem to connect on almost every level. You have finally found your match. Well… except for one thing. He likes dancing and wants to go out to the club; sometimes with you and sometimes with his friends. How should you feel about that?
Today’s clubs are a lot different than they used to be. No longer are they simply designated as a place for dancing. Clubs are dense communities in which people socialize and nurture relationships. But they are also magnets for problems. Talk to any one of your club-going friends and they’ll quickly point out a time in which someone got clocked by a bouncer or some drunk out of her mind club goer vomited all over her shoes. The club is an absolute jungle. Here are 5 reasons you should not permit clubbing in your relationship.
- Clubs are huge pits for dating: A lot of broken hearts are made in the club. People just don’t seem to understand that when you mix music, alcohol, and hormones people tend to let their guards down. Your man may very well only want to go dancing. He may have the best intentions. But that buzzing chick to his left.Do you see her? She’s the one revealing all of her best physical assets. She simply does not care about how committed your man is. Furthermore, she seems even more motivated by the idea that he’s taken. Monogamy does not live in the club. If you see someone there with a man, there are about 9 or 10 different women plotting on how to take him away from her. And with the loose dress code of today, you can best believe he’s noticing them all.
- Alcohol: A glass of wine within the confines of your house is cool. It may be the way you unwind after a long day at work. Some doctors even say that a glass or two of wine per day may have healthy benefits. But we’re not talking about wine, are we? Go to any club and it’ll be hard for you to find a normal bottle of wine. Instead there are shots of hardcore liquor, trendy drinks you can’t even pronounce, and willing bartenders seeking a profit for their employers. This is a nasty recipe for something bad to happen. Your man may hold out for one or two hours. But if he’s traveling with his boys that natural but oh so deadly drug called testosterone kicks in. Next your man is being called “soft” for nursing that beer. Soon he’s joined the crowd and is way beyond his normal self. Maybe he gets into a juvenile fight and only comes home with a black eye (if he’s lucky). Or maybe he gets plastered and wakes up in the bed of another woman.
- The Wandering Eye: Let’s say you have a good man and he generally behaves himself. Do you think he’ll be that way after going to the club on a regular basis? It kills me how people think their lovers are supposed to be some superhuman person with impenetrable shields of loyalty. Ha! That person doesn’t exist. If you walk into a pie store so many times eventually you’re going to want to taste a pie. If you’re at home and your man is out at the club, what is going to be the one thing that he inevitably does? He’s going to look at other women. And what’s worse, he’s probably looking with an upgrader’s eye. In his mind he’s comparing what you have versus what those girls have. Maybe you don’t have a model’s body. But there are 20 or 30 girls with a model’s body in his face in the club.
- The Club Knows the Game: The clubs know that men like women. Why do you think there are so many “Ladies Nights” being promoted? Heck, the clubs won’t even let you in if you don’t fit a certain level of fashion that they’re trying to maintain (keep the ugly, uncool girls out and let in the sexy, show all of their bodies women). The club is a business. They are in it to make money. And if you follow statistics even in the slightest way you’ll find out quickly that women outnumber men. So how are the clubs able to make such a big amount of money? They hand out free offers to women. Women are the bait and the man’s money is the target. And the clubs know this. But here’s what some women just don’t seem to get. You are knowingly sending your man into a place filled with women. The whole system is designed to cater to the male ego through music, drinking, and women. So you want your man to come home broke with another chick on the side? Because if you send him to a club, in a way, that’s what you’re hoping for.
- Losing a part of your relationship: The best thing about relationships is the sharing. While no one is saying that you aren’t entitled to your own individual life within that relationship, you have to acknowledge that the things you share are the things that make the relationship strong. Going to a club tarnishes that. If he has a separate life in which he can frolic and drink and lie, that is almost creating another individual. And due to the fact that you aren’t going with him to the club, he will be an individual you don’t know. Going to a club changes you. And it changes you mostly for the worse.
Everyone needs an outlet within a relationship. It is healthy to take time to yourself and develop your own set of friends. If you spend too much time with anyone it can be a bad thing. But there is nothing good about clubbing. Nothing at all. It never helps any relationship. In fact, if you talk to the vast majority of people they would have to admit that it complicates things. Protect your relationship. Don’t let him go clubbing.