The Biggest Mistake People Make When Dating

You see him approaching. Yes, that guy. He’s walking with the confidence of a man that is God’s gift to women. You tap your girlfriend on the arm and nod in his direction. She instantly burst into laughter. He sees you and your crew laughing but the action seems to add a little extra bounce to his step. You can tell he thinks you and your girlfriends are feeling what he has to offer (the average man could see that it clearly means the opposite) and he speeds up his approach.

Image courtesy of  J.D.S. at Shutterstock.com
Image courtesy of J.D.S. at Shutterstock.com

He starts to swing his right arm back and forth with every step like an overgrown palm tree. The club lights briefly crawl across his face and illuminate his one gold tooth. Wow! This guy looks like he came from a 1990’s movie.

“Girl is that a doo-rag?” your friend whispers just as he arrives to your table. Now you inspect him more closely. He looks like a 50 year old version of someone’s uncle. His clothes are all the latest fashion – for a twenty year old and it seems like he should be at home with a family instead of trying to swing it with the youth.

“How are you ladies doing this fine evening?” he asks. Suddenly a strong mixture of peppermint candy and one billion proof alcohol breath washes over everyone at the table.

“Un-uh…” says Julie, your best friend. She instantly slides her hand over her nose and promptly excuses herself. Luckily your two other friends decide to stay and give you some backup. The man promptly slides next to you and begins to spout off gibberish. You don’t want to be mean and dismiss him but he’s got on way too much cologne (you think it’s that drugstore aftershave your granddad wears) and the night has just really started. You don’t want to get a rep this early by being seen with a loser.

“Ummm…. I’m sorry but we have to go. You’re not my type,” you say as politely as you can. Suddenly the waitress arrives.

“Hey, Derrick! How are you doing with your fine self?” She asks and promptly gives him a hug. You look at the waitress and then look at him. Is this woman for real? This dude looks like someone’s nightmare. The waitress is a beautiful woman and she’s giving this clown this kind of attention?

Image courtesy of Igor Demchenkov at Shutterstock.com
Image courtesy of Igor Demchenkov at Shutterstock.com

Something must be wrong with her. Either they’re old friends or she’s…. well…. Blind.

“Let me get a round of drinks for my new friends here,” he offers.

“Oh Derrick you know your money’s no good here. It’s on the house. Will you be having your usual?” she says and promptly pushes the credit card away. You don’t fancy yourself to be a gold-digger but you did notice the card was a Black Card. This guy is becoming more and more intriguing by the second. You wanted to go but now you’re tempted to stay to learn a little more about him. Suddenly another waitress arrives. She’s carrying a $2000 bottle of champagne!

“Hey Derrick. This is from the guy over at the bar,” she says. You look over and it’s a very famous singer! You and your friends look at one another with your mouths wide open. Who is this guy?!

“Well I’m sorry that I’m not your type. You seemed like a nice young lady. I’ll be on my way. Enjoy the drinks on me,” he says and promptly gets up. You look at your friends and their eyes seem to be screaming to you “If you don’t want him, I’ll take a crack at him”.

So what do you do? Do you stop him or do you let him go?

Many women encounter this very scenario every weekend. Sometimes the guy is penniless and only looking for companionship just like any other person. Other times the scenario plays out just like this. So in this scenario, what would you do?

Image courtesy of Piotr Marcinski at Shutterstock.com
Image courtesy of Piotr Marcinski at Shutterstock.com

On one hand, if you are impressed by money and the things that someone can buy for you then I don’t need to tell you what that makes you. You didn’t want to give the guy the time of day based on how he was dressed and what you typically look for in companionship. And the only thing that swayed you was his money and influence? That’s it? There’s a name for people like that and if you choose to stay based on materialism, you know what that makes you.

On the other hand, if you excuse yourself and leave the guy, you may be committing a bigger crime in judging a book by its cover. True, you’ll be honest about what you want, but at what cost?

Image courtesy of shutterstock.com
Image courtesy of shutterstock.com

The average person can’t see the forest for the trees. In most cases we walk right past good people that may not fit the stereotypical mold of beauty just to pick up that hot person that ends up treating us like crap.

No one is suggesting that everyone should automatically accept each and every straggler that comes across your path. But you should take some time to get to know each person that doesn’t present themselves as disrespectful, irresponsible or dangerous to you. That should be the normal selection process. It should not be based on what your snobby friends think or if the person’s wallet is heavy enough. It should be based on each person’s character. You can’t judge someone by appearance alone. Enrichment comes in many shapes, sizes and colors.

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