How many “dead-heads” do you have on your dating sheet? What’s a dead-head you ask? A dead-head is a wasted body. Someone with whom you’ve spent months (in a lot of cases years), only to have another failed relationship. Oh, it’s nothing to feel ashamed of. For me, I had three dead-heads within my college years. Chances are if you’re out there trying to find love you’re going to pluck one or two of those dead-heads without even trying. Dead-heads are not gender specific. They are evenly administered to men and women over a period of time. It doesn’t matter your age. If you date, you’re going to get one. Dead-heads are one of the most annoyingly constant things in dating because they are equal opportunity annoyers. They represent a complete waste of time.
Dating is tough but it’s not just the dead-heads. Part of the problem is us. There is a blistering fact when it comes to dating; most dating mishaps are the result of conformity. The structure of our romantic lives is molded by what other people think. Men are trained to look for the “perfect” woman, never taking time to realize that we all are human BEFORE we are man or woman and that each person is different. Women are trained to look for men that are too soft or too close to a woman’s emotional makeup; not realizing that tampering with the emotional aspect of a man (or trying to change him) goes against human nature and will probably have bad results.
We all want to find that special someone. No matter who you are or where you’re from, no one wants to go through year after year of fruitless searching. So with that said and the personal issues aside, let’s get to “sourcing”. Where have you been looking? Where have you been going? Have you received tips from friends about the best places to find love?
No matter what anybody tells you, there is no perfect place to find love. It’s not like a water faucet. You just can’t go to a certain location and find the love of your life. Yeah…yeah I know that your grandmother claims that finding a man in church is the best method. I know that your girlfriend on the 6th floor of your apartment building told you that “Sparky’s” on Wednesday nights is the best place to go. And sure, your boy you play basketball with told you to go to ladies night at the club. While all of those places may have worked for some people, they may not be the place for you.
So where do you go?
Let’s get this out of the way. I….Don’t….Know…. There! I said it. Nobody knows. But I can definitely tell you of some places you should avoid in order to reduce your “dead-head” count.
Here are the 5 Places You Should Never Look for Love
- The Internet and Social Media: I’m completely comfortable with using social media to communicate with people you’ve already met. There’s nothing wrong with that. But if you’re looking for love, stay away from your computer.
Most of the people you see on social media are not as they appear. Their photos only show their shots from the best angles. Usually when you meet someone in person you can get a sense of their personality. Not on a computer. It can be a strictly cut and paste situation when it comes to who they really are. And to top all of it off, the internet can be a very dangerous place. You reveal certain sensitive pieces of information simply by logging on.
- The Club: The fact that people believe this is a viable option for finding love kills me. There was never a relationship that I formed with someone I met at a club that turned out to be normal. Never. Shoot, was I even a normal guy back then? Lol! Clubs aren’t places to dance. They are businesses that have the primary job of exploiting youth, beauty, sexuality and music to fuel alcohol consumption.
You can’t speak to anyone because the music is too loud. You can’t learn anything meaningful about anyone because you’ve drank too many drinks. You can’t speak about matters of the heart because someone is always groping your rear. Talk about a bad mixture!
- Your Job: If you’re stupid enough to date a coworker then you might as well find a new job immediately. How can you have independence when you mix all aspects of your life with your lover.
When you wake up, she’s there. When you go to work, she’s there. Lunch break? She’s there. Going home? She’s there. Are you kidding me? And let’s say that one of your home arguments makes it into the office. Pure fireworks! Everyone in the office will know you two are beefing. And what if you break up? When you decide to end it you had better find another job. It’ll be so messy that you’ll probably need a police officer to escort one of you from the building.
- Overseas/International Dating: This kinda falls in the same category as the internet but there’s a twist. Some people will meet a person online and develop a relationship via video and telephoning. For various reasons, this dummy feels like a person from another country will understand him more than a person that lives within the same city (can you say ‘set up’). When he or she finally visits the per
son in that country (did you really believe they would have the funds to visit you) they are surprised to discover the truth. The relationship is one in which the traveler (you) was overwhelmed by physical presentation and the person you visited was overwhelmed by the financial capacity that you maintained. To put it mildly, this is an indirect form of participating in the oldest trade in the world. And you know what that is.
- Church: Something about this method seems very dirty to me. You’re supposed to be going to church to cleanse your soul. Instead you’re looking at people in a sexual manner. There’s no use in you lying about it. When you are searching for a partner you scope EVERYTHING! You look at body parts. You use your imagination and play out certain romantic scenarios. It’s called attraction. And there is no way you’re going to convince me that this is something that you should be doing in a church.
Furthermore, a lot of people have this backwards anyway. What makes you think church going people aren’t sinners? They are some of the biggest sinners on the planet! Even as a young child I knew of at least 2 different scandals happening with my grandmother’s church and indirectly received regular updates on every Sunday visit! So if you think you’re going to find a good person there, you might. But you might find an equally good person just randomly walking down the street. The fact that the venue is a church doesn’t make it any better.
Those are my choices in places to avoid. The list will undoubtedly be different for everyone but these are the locations I would recommend you avoid like the plague. There are too many things that could go wrong.
Love is really a shot in the dark. You could hit or miss at any time. But some spots need to be avoided because they increase your risk of heartbreak and wasted time. Just play the odds wisely. Limit your exposure .