You and your man had planned for that happily ever after. You really did. You talked about how you would raise your children. The girl would be named after your grandmother and the two of you would name the boy after his favorite sports icon. You met his family and they adored you. His father lovingly called you his daughter. You couldn’t have received a more warm welcome by a family. And although your mom didn’t initially like the idea of you deciding to tie the knot while you were in college, they went above and beyond in their praise of him.
But something has changed.
You are now at a point where you feel the relationship isn’t what you thought it would be. You want out. And this isn’t just your typical run-of- the-mill, cold feet before the wedding, type of situation. You’re starting to hate him. I mean, you really hate his guts. That physical chemistry has all but evaporated. Sex feels like a by-the-numbers routine that you could easily feel that time was better served painting your nails. When you sleep you hear an annoying whistle sound coming from his big bird-like nose. When you hug him all kinds of volcanic noises come from his stomach. It’s so gross! One time while you were asleep he passed gas and you had to sleep in the living room because the stench got trapped in the sheets for hours (as a matter of fact it was still there the next day and you had to change all of the bed linen). His laugh crawls up your spine like a cold slinky whenever you hear it. And no matter how often he brushes his teeth you can’t avoid that garlicy taste that pours into your nostrils when you kiss. Yeah, it’s safe to say you’ve reached the end of the road with this dude.
Here’s where things get complicated.
He gave you this enormous rock for an engagement ring. I mean, you have never seen anything so big in your life. All of your friends brag about how gigantic it is. You have to admit receiving such an extravagant gift put you close to Jupiter. You would be the first to admit that you were swept off of your feet by that gift. If a man could afford a ring like this, he could definitely be a good provider for you. The ring is every bit of the down payment on an upscale 6 bedroom home in a gated community. What a rock!
But now you’re standing looking at the ring in the bathroom and contemplating the most selfish act; you want to keep this ring and trash-can the boorish gorilla of a fiance. Would it be wrong to keep the ring? Should you give it back?
The temptation to keep the engagement ring comes into millions of women’s heads every day. Those sparkling carats give birth to enough selfish thoughts to fuel several world wars. Why shouldn’t you keep it? After all, it’s not your fault that he’s a weak man and he couldn’t compel you to seal the deal. A better man would’ve made sure of his woman’s heart before investing in such a splendid jewel, right? Why should you give it back? He gave it to you. It’s yours. This sparkling gem has found its rightful owner and it isn’t the poor sap that stood in the jewelry store for 3 hours choosing.
Some women go from contemplating staying in a relationship that makes them feel miserable, to concocting outlandish scenarios to place the blame on him; paving the way for them to keep the ring.
“I saw you looking at that woman’s butt! You don’t respect me. The wedding’s off! It’s your fault. And I’m not giving back the ring,”
“My best friend’s cousin told her hairstylist that her sister’s cousin saw you at a strip club 2 years ago! I thought you told me you’ve never visited one of those places. I can’t be with a man that treats women like meat. It’s over. I think I should keep the ring because the breakup is clearly your fault.”
Most of these women are selfish people who, upon careful analysis, probably wouldn’t be good enough to wed a rock. Not only are they only thinking of themselves, they are disingenuous about their reasons for breaking up and only think about elevating their financial status and could give a darn about their mate’s heart.
I have news for these women: GIVE BACK THE RING! Your life, while soaked in a cesspool of juvenile-juice, is still worth more to you without that ring than the gigantic headache you are about to cause yourself trying to keep it. Here are 3 reasons you should give the ring back:
- The courts are on his side: While it may not seem like it now, the courts will undoubtedly be on his side. I know, I know. Your girlfriend’s hairdresser told you about an episode of Divorce Court in which the woman kept the engagement ring. But let me tell you something. Unless that man has been an outright dog and you have detailed proof of his exploits, you’re going to lose. The courts recognize an engagement as a promise. A contract. And if that contract isn’t completed (marriage) then all bets are off and you will more than likely have to return the ring. Save yourself some court fees and give it back.
- His family and friends might be deep: Let’s be clear. Nobody deserves to be threatened, harassed or bullied into doing something that they don’t want to do. Nobody deserves to be mistreated. But if you’ve stepped on the heart of a person and you think it’s favorable to keep an article costing $20,000 dollars, you have to expect that more than a few of his friends and family are going to drive strong to the basket. I wouldn’t be surprised if his family helped him in gathering that money for his proposal. Friends with 20k to spend on an engagement ring are just too rare. Those family and friends, who probably think the world of him, are going to come to your door. Some will come with anger and aggression. Others may come with an attorney. But no matter what, they’re coming!
- It’s karma baby…karma: Being in a relationship with someone affords you access to a lot of who they are. You get access to their finances, their feelings, their secrets….. While there are laws to protect one from putting romantic video tapes on the internet and social media for revenge purposes, that usually doesn’t stop someone who feels they have been financially taken advantage of. No matter if this person chooses to do something illegal in his quest for revenge, there are currently no solutions available for karma. What you put out, you usually get back. So while you may get to keep his ring if he doesn’t contest it (that kinda depends on the cost of the ring) you do have to contend with the fact that someone may do the same to you.
Just give back the ring. It’s just not worth it. If you’re really a woman of decent character you wouldn’t want to keep the ring anyway. And if you want to get rid of this guy that rubs every inch of your being the wrong way, why would you do something that almost guarantees he’ll be in your face indefinitely? Get rid of the man and get rid of his gifts. It’s the smart solution.