One night you’re at home relaxing and preparing to cook a nice Sunday dinner for you and your boyfriend.
You guys don’t get a lot of time to spend together because of college and work so you both came to a mutual agreement that Sundays would be your special time. You usually don’t answer emails or telephone calls.
All of your friends know the drill because you’ve prepped them. They know to call only if it’s an emergency. Boo-Time is really serious with you and your man so it’s very important that all outside communication be neutralized.
As your man is taking a shower and you’re lighting the candles for your dinner, your telephone rings. You don’t really want to answer it but he’s in the shower and you figure it’s best to get rid of whoever didn’t get the “do not bother us” message before you sit down to dinner. You answer the telephone…
What you hear next is absolutely devastating.
“Hi, my name is Jenifer and I’ve been sleeping with your man.”
At first you think it’s a joke.
“Is this some kind of sick joke? Hey Pat, is this you? Stop playing around.”
Incredibly the woman repeats her statement and assures you that she isn’t joking. The blood rushes to your face and before you even realize what’s happening, you’re flooding the telephone receiver with tears. You slowly lower yourself into a chair as you start to experience dizziness. It all seems like a dream. In detail the caller goes through how they met, how often they CURRENTLY have sex, why she decided to call, and multiple identifying marks on his body. After getting your fill of this vile information you hang up the phone. At that very moment your boyfriend enters the room…
In a situation like this the average woman would understandably launch themselves at the boyfriend. Infidelity is no joke. No one wants to be made a fool of.
You’ve had numerous intimate months with him; unguarded months. And to think he could violate your trust in this manner? Well, that’s just enough to make someone break a few items over his boorish head. Within that one moment he’s gone from the king in your life to the king of lies. Everything that he told you has instantly become questionable. What should your next move be? Should you end the relationship immediately and throw him out onto the street?
In most cases, the first impulse is usually the correct response. You know when you’ve been disrespected. And if you tolerate it now, chances are you will probably be facing that same issue again (or sleeping with a huge sack of suspicion).
But what if you’re wrong?
Being wrong is also a big possibility when it comes to infidelity. There’s nothing like shoving your foot in your mouth when you should’ve approached the situation with a healthy dose of caution.
Before you do anything, calm yourself. It’s not going to be helpful to anyone if you go all UFC on the guy without getting the facts. No successful fact-finding mission has ever begun with a frying pan to the face. Calm yourself. Put your questioning together in your head. Remain neutral.
The most pressing thing you need to be concerned with is how he’s going to react. Not because your man could become violent or anything. The reason you want to watch his behavior is because a man’s behavior within a moment of crisis can be an absolute clue to if he’s guilty or if he’s the victim of a smear campaign. He could’ve done everything he’s being accused of. But he could also be the victim of lies by some thirsty chick that wants what you have.
Regardless, here are the 3 Ways Men React When Accused of Cheating and what his behavior could tell you about his innocence or guilt:
- He’s going to yell: When anyone, male or female, is accused of anything and the accuser holds a strong position of value in their life, they are going to usually yell.
Innocent: If he’s innocent he’ll be offended that you even approached him with such an accusation. That alone may trigger the yelling.
Guilty: If he’s guilty, the yelling will more than likely be used as a smokescreen to hide the guilt. Also the yelling will probably be accompanied by physical anger. He may begin hurling curse words towards you. He may also break items and more. This is not because he feels that he is innocent. It’s because he’s angry that his secret has been discovered.
- He’s going to cry: You know if your man is a crier or not. If he tears up while watching movies and you’ve witnessed it before, you may see it at this moment.
Innocent: If you’ve witnessed crying from your man then you have a frame of reference to know if he’s being truthful in his watery display. Tears are not usually mixed with anger so if he cries during this moment and the tears are accompanied by silence, questions, or genuine confusion, you will know he is being honest.
Guilty: If the tears come about when you have never witnessed it before, watch out! Men do not abandon their habits when faced with crisis; ESPECIALLY a crisis involving their woman. It may seem like overt macho chest-thumping, but men don’t like to cry in front of women for a reason. It’s an ugly sight. Egos are at stake. If your man suddenly cries at the prospect of losing you or throws in the occasional “How can you believe her over me” while letting a few tears drop, it could be a sign of guilt.
- He’s going to leave: Sometimes innocent men and guilty men will leave the scene if things become too heated at that moment.
Innocent: If he leaves the scene but takes you with him to confront the woman with the accusations, he’s more than likely telling you the truth. A man will not want a lie that threatens his valuable relationship to stand unchallenged.
And he also will not want a pinch of doubt to be in your head when it comes to fidelity. But be careful with this also. He could leave and leave you there alone. If you were too aggressive in your accusations it may come off as you being on the side of the woman that’s accusing him. And if you take the side of a stranger BEFORE hearing his explanation, his absence could mean real innocence for him and bad news for you.
Guilty: If your man leaves the scene without offering any explanation, he’s more than likely guilty. Furthermore, he’s probably going to track the source of the revelation to lodge a complaint.
Not that he is innocent of the charges but instead, “Why did you have to call my girl?” If the man cares about you he will want you involved in every aspect of the accusation. That tracking of the source will be a joint venture between you and your boyfriend. He’ll want you to witness first hand that he’s been honest. But if he leaves you at home alone and doesn’t make any attempt to explain or present contrary evidence? Yep, he might be guilty.