Have you ever met the seemingly perfect person only to have them try to break off all communication after one argument? What about the type of person that tries to look for any reason, no matter how small, to say that you guys aren’t a perfect fit?
Or maybe you met someone who after they’ve slept in your bed, wakes up with a sudden case of honesty and tells you that they aren’t looking for “anything serious right now”. What kind of a person does that? Is there something wrong with you?
Welcome to the world of the PLAYER.
These types of people roam the dating sphere like zombies. They’re human in that they breathe air and drink and eat, but their behavior is void of anything romantic or sympathetic.
Any person that crosses their path is a stepping stone to be used to satisfy variations of what is pleasurable to them on any given day. They could care less about public perception and what people think about their behavior. They don’t live for others. They live strictly for the moment. When you’re engaged with them in conversation they totally morph into whoever you want them to be, truly committing to the role and all of the ground rules that are laid out. But once they reach that point of trust, just enough to get what they want, they vanish like invisible spirts in the wind.
Nobody knows where these people come from (I often imagine that there is a great chasm somewhere in hell that releases them amongst us people with emotions every 3 to 5 months).
Nobody knows who their parents are or what their ultimate goals are. All that most of us knows about them is that they are the scum of the earth. They trap their prey in nets of confusion for months, searching for anything that would give them the answer to why they were rejected.
But hey, there’s hope!
There are distinct signs that these individuals give that will let you know if you are dating someone who will use you. Please write this down because I don’t know if you’ll ever have anyone point out the blueprint for avoiding these idiots ever again in your life.
Ready? Here are 10 Signs You’re Dating a Player:
- Conversation: You ever talk to someone and the conversation stays stuck on them like silly putty? You try to steer it towards current events, life issues, and the cost of peanuts but no matter what, they always circle back to how important every issue is to making their lives easier. There may be a reason for that. Users are selfish dummies that never see beyond their own needs.
Like a big magnet, it’s always about them. Having a conversation with someone in which they always make themselves (or what they want) the center of attention is a big red flag.
- Too perfect: Have you ever spoken to someone and you had so many things in common that it was scary? You like peanut butter, they do too! You shop at thrift shops, they do too! You graduate summa cum laude and guess what? They did too!
Please…. Contrary to most people would have you think, differences in relationships are what makes them more successful. While it may sound good that someone walked down the same paths in life that you did, it’s often an indication that they’re lying like crazy. But why? Because they’re after something…..
- The Silver Tongue: What makes players attractive is not their appearance. Most of them look like what they actually are; dogs. But what makes a player so successful is their ability to control conversations. They know how to give just the right amount of compliments. They know the way to a feminist’s heart just as they do for someone not in that realm.
They can make your mother smile from ear to ear. They can make your dad want to relax curfew rules for you. They have all of your friends in their pockets. But when you can’t reconcile their actions with what’s coming out of their mouths, that is the tell-tale sign of you being played like a flute.
- “I just wanna talk”: Ladies, have you ever had a guy take you home and you’ve already informed him that you don’t believe in one night stands and you’d give him a call? How many of those dudes gave you a kiss goodnight and asked,
“Can I come in and talk for a little while?”
Yeah, a lot of people are guilty of that. Men and women. But if you’ve laid down the law and someone still tries to overpower you through beguiling gestures and slick talk, chances are you’re about to be played. Let them in and you kinda deserve what you get.
- Payments: Okay, I believe in chivalry to a point. We live in a new world in which people should be treated like equals no matter the gender. So let’s say you’re on a date and the guy pulls out his credit card. Should you let him pay?
Hmmmm…. I would say maybe. If you let him pay then you give him the option of using that payment to extort what he wants out of you. Not every man will try to extort but there are quite a few that do it. Doing something because you want to is one thing. Being extorted is another. If you do let him pay and later in the evening he says,
“I took you to a nice restaurant and you won’t even give me a kiss?” you’d better run! Run for your life!
- No shame: When you’re out on a date with someone most people are on their best behavior. They pull out a chair, say all of the courteous things, and do their best to be thoughtful. But let’s say you’re at a restaurant.
The both of you order your food but his food arrives first. He immediately digs in without waiting for you to receive your food. What does that tell you? Or what if you’re talking about the past and the woman you’re on a date with just starts calling her exes “cheap” and “weak in the bedroom”? That’s a shameless act. It’s the equivalent of going on a job interview and trashing your previous employer. You just don’t do it. Yeah, you might be in for it.
- Scheduling: Have you ever made a date with someone and they would only meet you at the time and place they agreed upon? What if they canceled two or three times but still insist on setting the time and place for meeting you. Yep. Could be a sign….
- Jealousy: If this is the first date, how could anyone get jealous? Believe it or not it happens. Jealousy is one of those weird things that if done correctly, comes off as cute.
If done incorrectly it comes off as “The nerve of this idiot”. If you’re a woman and you’re out with a person and they let off slight disapprovals of an imaginary man watching your rear, it may send you the signal that he’s only trying to protect your honor. It makes you soft around the edges and less likely to view your date as the idiot. He’s gained a little bit of your respect and the next thing you know, it’s the next morning. Slick, right? But always remember that a real man doesn’t fight his woman’s battles unless SHE ASKS HIM TO. Be aware of the slick moves of the player.
- Memory games: It doesn’t take a genius to remember the name of the person that’s sitting directly in front of you. But some people don’t. If he can’t remember your name or confuses you with someone else, he’s focused on himself and could care less about you. Watch out!
- Mismatched interest levels: If you’re bubbly and engaging in conversation and the other person is not matching your enthusiasm, they might not be feeling you.
Maybe you’re just a weekend thing to them. This happens a lot when some people date out of their league. They’ll choose the “hot” person and that person doesn’t have the same feeling. Translation? You’re about to get played.