Have you noticed how every person that has a halfway decent relationship professes to have found their soulmate? Your girlfriend found her soulmate in college while picking up her morning latte at the local coffee shop. Your hairdresser found her soulmate in the club amongst the serial monogamists and power drinkers. Even your mom is guilty of it. She claims that she found her twin diamond in the 3rd grade auditorium during the rehearsal of Robin Hood. She swears since that fortuitous day the two of them have shared complete bliss and haven’t looked back.
So you can imagine the rumors and looks you must be getting when you reveal to your friends that you’re on your 3rd failed relationship in 2 years. They look at you as if you’ve grown an arm out of the middle of your forehead. What’s wrong with you?
Surely you’ve met and let your soulmate get away from you without even realizing what was happening. Were you being too judgmental? Maybe your patience is too thin. Did you choke him into submission with feminism or did you withhold the good-good a little too long? Speculation is running rampant.
And along with the speculation comes the….advice. One friend tells you to show more cleavage. Another friend tells you not to show so much cleavage. Another friend has you in the gym doing squats; working on gaining some ‘likes’ in the backside area.
And yet another friend tells you men aren’t concerned with your body; that instead you should concentrate on personality. With all of the advice you’re receiving you’re expecting that any day now one of your friends will recommend jumping off of the Empire State Building.
So what is the truth when it comes to soulmates? Do they even exist? What are the chances of you meeting yours? Can your soulmate provide you with your ‘happy forever after’?
Well it’s good and bad news when it comes to soulmates.
First the good news…
Soulmates absolutely exist! For every person that roams this earth there is a person to match their every thought and feeling.
Soulmates are one of the most wonderful things about life because they are always unforced surprises. You never know when you’re going to bump into your soulmate. You could be at work, on the subway or even in church. There are no rules to where the thunderbolt of love will strike.
Now hold on to your seats. Here is the bad news…
In most cases Soulmates never reveal themselves until they have gone. It is usually through the haze of a breakup or a passing of several relationships after that person that you realize your soulmate was in your presence.
And the news doesn’t get any better.
Soulmates are one of the most destructive forces on earth. They are rarely compatible with anything long-term.
They are like flashing stars passing in the midnight sky. Their brilliance is the most beautiful thing you’ll witness on a relationship front. But once they’ve passed everything else just seems bland. You’re left with accepting their departure and bitterly carrying the memory of your encounter for the rest of your life. Those individuals who try to sell you on the fact that they married their soulmates are fooling themselves. They’ve more than likely lost their soulmate in the ashes of life and had to accept whatever 2nd choice came as close to the original as possible; a faux soulmate.
Do you think I’m wrong? Do you believe I’m incorrect? Here are 5 Reasons Soulmates Don’t Last:
- Opposites attract, not similarities: You are liable to meet your soulmate and discover that you have so many things in common. You both like traveling. You both like Sade. You both like cherry slushies. But in time, having so many things in common with someone becomes tedious.
Next thing you know you’re complaining about not having space. You find that you appreciate those similarities less and less because part of you seems to be disappearing within the pages of your relationship. Soon you’re craving individuality and openly fighting for your space.
- You don’t know what you have: In the beginning it’s very common for most people to lump their soulmates into the category of normal boyfriend/girlfriend.
Like I said, the title of soulmate is usually earned in the past tense; after the relationship has fizzled. But while you’re in the moment most people give no distinction to the magic they’re experiencing versus a plain old vanilla romance.
- Confusion sets in: It’s hard to think of all of the positive things a soulmate can bring you when you’re focusing on one thing.
Maybe the sex is light-up-the-sky fantastic and so you concentrate mostly on that. But while you’re doing that you’re missing all of the laughter you shared while just genuinely enjoying one another’s company. A soulmate has so many aspects of your life that he or she may blow your mind with that you inadvertently dumb down those things. It happens. But when that person is gone, those things usually come rushing back with the force of a train.
- Youthfulness doesn’t like longevity: Soulmates can strike at any age but if we’re going to be completely honest about it, it mainly strikes the youth. Young people have their hearts open to love in a way that elderly people just can’t open up to.
With youth lives a bottomless reserve of hope, optimism, energy, and imagination. With the older people they are usually stuck in their ways, molded by the harshness of real life and refusing to realize the heartbeat of days past. So the youth always ends up winning. Except…. In longevity. The youth walk around with this ever present feeling that they will meet someone else so easily.
“So what if this relationship ends. I can find another.”
But the roots of the soulmate belong to time. You never realize it until it’s gone. And so the childish behavior of youth can never understand or tame the soulmate. They toss it to the wind as if it’s an old shirt, never realizing the value in what they discard.
- The spirit of the soulmate lives in stupid people: Think about it. If there is literally a soulmate for every person walking this earth, that means that even your dumb frat buddy who drinks every single weekend until he pukes, he has one. Or the gold-digger. She has one. Or the idiot who thinks it’s cute to have 20 girlfriends at one time, he has one.
The fact that everyone has a soulmate means that many people aren’t intelligent to realize what they have. They may go through their entire lives and never even realize that their soulmate was working right next to them in the office. Love takes a level of sophistication that some people never grasp.
Soulmates are out there. That is wonderful news for most of us. The larger question is how big a chunk of your life will you waste before you realize that your soulmate was in your presence? Will you be too young and full of energy to focus on what is within your grasp? Will you be too old and preoccupied with the levels of living to zero in on it? Or will you just be too stupid, barely able to acknowledge the concept of maturity to think beyond to something greater? The choice is yours. So is the journey.