There is one fact about dating that you’re going to have to accept:
You’re going to get your heart broken.
It has to happen. You may be able to avoid it for a little while but eventually it’s going to catch up to you. It’s hard not to take it personal but in the grand scheme of things, please don’t.
It’s just a part of the process to finding our true loves. Not all people are compatible. It’s like taking a large ring of keys and inserting each one into the door until the right one fits. Some things are meant to be and some things aren’t.
Some people are going to experience just one breakup. Others will experience 2 or 3. But having multiple breakups is not like going to the dentist. It doesn’t get any easier to deal with as your list piles up. You’re going to be afraid every time and each experience is drastically different than the previous. Breakups are not born of the same mother and father. There are variations to their existence.
I’m definitely not going to tell you that they don’t hurt.
Breakups make you feel like someone shoved a box of rusty nails into the center of you. They make you feel like you’re the loneliest person on earth. Everyone is around you and no one is around you all at once.
They zap all of your energy. Breakups magically transform every radio into their personal conduits of suffering. Suddenly every love song that you’ve ever heard pertaining to heartbreak plays there to make you feel even worse. You can’t sleep. You can’t eat. Breakups transform your bed into this weird magnet field that makes you lay there hour after hour after hour, unable to move.
But it doesn’t stop there….
Breakups seep into your everyday life. Breakups transform your professional career into nothing. You stare into your computer screen like it’s some kind of weird hypnotic machine.
You see the words but you look through the screen, seeing only images of your lost love and getting a ton of angry stares from your boss. Friends come to your door. Then they call. And then they disappear, completely aware that you are in the clutches of the nasty breakup monster. Yes, heartbreaks can be one of the worst things on earth.
But thank goodness it doesn’t last forever. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. Heartbreaks eventually give way to either daily activity, new love, or just a general acceptance of the current situation; it’s over and you need to move on.
I know… I know… To someone currently going through a heartbreak this sounds like complete crap.
The clouds seem too thick to dissipate. The memory of your love is too new. The wound is too deep. And the future seems too hopeless.
But things do get better. As a matter of fact there are several ways in which you can speed of the process. You don’t necessarily have to sit around waiting for the clearing of the clouds. You can actually use a tremendous gust of wind to blow those things away.
Here are 10 Ways to get over a Broken Heart:
- Remove all traces of that person: I know it’s going to be hard but those photos you’re hanging on to aren’t helping your heartache.
Neither is that giant screen saver. Erase all traces of that individual. No letters, no pics, no emails…. Nothing.
- Disconnect from social media: Most people I know have at least two or three social media accounts. But while those may seem like reasonable accounts to hold on to, they can be absolute deathtraps when you’re experiencing a breakup. Not only are you tempted to go back and view old pics and communication, you’re probably going to do some spying on what he or she may be doing now that they’ve decided to move on from you. That is a special kind of torture that you just don’t need. Do a complete social media blackout and don’t go back until your heart has healed.
- Go outside…often: It may not seem like it but the sun is more than just a source of warmth and light for us humans.
The sun has amazing healing powers when it comes to emotions and health. Go outside and sit for a few hours every day while you’re getting over this mess. It is absolutely better than staying in your room listening to every sad song that comes on the radio. Let Mother Nature help with the healing.
- Take some time to think about…. The old relationship: Yes, I said it. You need to think about what happened and you need to come to terms with it.
You cannot get over anything if you don’t truly accept it in your heart. It may cause you to cry. That’s okay. It may cause you to become angry. Also another acceptable emotion. Just don’t try to bottle it up and pretend. That can end up giving you a serious medical condition or possibly cause you to explode on the wrong people.
- Let your friends be there for you: If you have one or two real friends they are probably aware that you are in the dumps about your recent breakup.
But you shouldn’t push them away. Instead, bring them closer to you. Lean on them. Let them take you out to have some fun. While they may be a listening ear, they will also keep you in check about obsessing about the situation. Friends are going to be real friends when called upon. You just have to be willing to let them play their position.
- Take a road trip: Road trips have this wonderful ability to inspire new thoughts.
There’s something about seeing new places that seems to wipe away all of the pains of what’s ailing you and replace it with something more thought provoking. Grab a friend, grab a car and hit the road. It’ll help.
- Date again…. Frequently: Jumping into something as serious as a relationship right after you’ve experienced a heart break could be a huge mistake.
But that’s not to say that you should stop dating all together. Sometimes just knowing that someone finds you interesting and relevant is enough to snap you out of that pain. Date. Go out frequently with different people. Nothing hot and heavy. Just something to give you that burst of life.
- Get a makeover: You got out of a relationship, right? Why not go ahead and upgrade your appearance while you’re at it? It’ll give you the idea that you’re transforming your life for the better.
It makes you feel good, it will make others take notice, and it’s also a way of erasing all of the things that the previous person was attracted to. Don’t go out and shave your head bald or anything like that. But there’s nothing wrong with getting a new hairstyle or some new threads. It’s helpful.
- Exercise: For sure! Exercising relieves stress and allows you to convert that negative energy into something positive.
Getting yourself into better shape is much better than going home with a pint of chocolate ice cream and crying all night. Get moving. Sweat it out at the gym.
- Forgive and move on: In order for you to truly get over someone, you have to be able to forgive them.
Don’t assign blame. Don’t get caught up in he says she says. Just take the time to truly forgive and move on. After that don’t look back.
Most of these things seem oversimplified when you’re in the middle of heart break. But trust me, if you can take a few moments to do most of these things, you’ll avoid all of the pain. Nothing is worse than heart break except having to find your own way to do it. Use the blueprint left by the millions that have come before you. Use their recommendations as a way for you to free yourself. You will heal. I promise.