Should You Date Outside Your Race?

He’s exciting. The two of you share a connection that you’ve never had in your life. Not just on a basic man-attracted-to-woman level either. The two of you connect in ways that defy description. Your conversations make the world disappear and engross both of you in an intellectual dance that is all consuming. You feed off of one another. When he speaks you get jolts of excitement throughout your body like an electrical current warming a television when you turn it on. His smile is like walking out onto your front porch on a warm Sunday morning. His absence is like a rainy day canceling outdoor play for a child on the first day of summer vacation. Yes, it’s safe to say that the two of you share a connection.

But there’s only one thing…. He’s White and you’re Black.

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To say interracial love is complicated is an understatement. America seems to be a perpetual volcano of racial unrest, spewing burning lava over an entire nation yearning for calm and civility. There are so many pitfalls surrounding race that often the silliest of fears become ingrained in our societal interactions. And no place is this more common than on the subject of interracial love.
But the truth of the matter is interracial dating is becoming more accepted than it once was. America is changing. People are starting to realize that prejudging is made for immature people. Real people recognize that being honest about who you have in your bed is really the only true time you can be real about your likes and dislikes. Being honest about that aspect of your life is truly knowing who you are as a person and being honest in your quest for happiness. Your time on this earth is very short. Living for the expectations of others is downright dumb when you think about it. And no one has the right to dictate your love and happiness except you.
But there are some negative aspects to interracial dating that people don’t want to discuss. You will ultimately need to develop a very thick skin. There are a lot of people who view interracial dating as an affront to their culture. Some people will be brutally honest about their dislike; confrontational even. Some people will smile in your face and disparage you when unseen. The scariest aspect of racism in this new century isn’t the fact that one holds such narrow-minded beliefs. It’s often the fact that you are being harmed by that belief without your knowledge.

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With that being said, you can’t live your life in fear. Most people who are in interracial relationships beyond 3 years have often gotten past those negatives by the simple way; They simply deal with each issue as it appears. The love for who they are in a relationship with is always first. Problems never dominate.
So, if you’re thinking about taking the jump to interracial dating, here are 3 Reasons You Should Have an Interracial Relationship:

1. Your Happiness: As I stated before, those who love based on the opinions of others are often left greatly unfulfilled in life. Nothing is worse than waking up next to a person with whom you have no connection and are infinitely unsatisfied. Putting yourself first is an exercise in loving yourself. Only you can know what makes you happy. Dating a Caucasian man simply because your girlfriend would scoff at the idea of you dating a Hispanic man is more than a little immature.

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2. You will learn: Everyone’s a teacher of two things; They can either teach you what to do or what you shouldn’t do. But in an interracial relationship the lessons remain mostly positive. You get to learn more about another culture. You learn about all of the ways in which you add value to each other’s life. It makes you more sensitive to the feelings of people that don’t share all of your cultural likenesses. It cleans out your closet of stereotypical judgments and forces you to deal with what you’ve learned on a good and bad level. It will expand your “love vision” beyond the norms of dating. It will definitely teach you more about who you are. And maybe that will be a sweat and sour experience.

3. It makes you stronger: Living your life knowing that there are some people out there that may vehemently disagree with what you do is a bit intimidating. Let’s face it. You have to live in this world. Waking up every day and going out into the world with your lover on your arm and taking whatever is thrown your way is valiant. It’s romantic. It’s empowering. And it’s a straight up act of strength. Going to mom and dad and telling them you don’t care about what people think about who you love could always end up one of two ways. But the fact that you would even make the trip to stand up and say it is gladiator type stuff. Interracial love is a battle against the norms of American society. And if you’re in an interracial relationship, you battling. And that takes strength.

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